my dad is here!

I just cant believe I know that in just a short amount of time I will be leaving. This has been very much a home for me. I have so many friends and family here. The boys, even though they are little brats, are so much of who I am now. I just cant imagine leaving them. I think returning to the US is going to be a culture shock. I will be moving into my new house and getting ready for school. Both of which things I am excited for, I just dont want to leave here. I very much have two worlds in which I live in. Blacksburg is my home, but so in Puerto Plata. Okay enough fretting about tomorrow.

Today was great! My Dad is here. I am so excited he gets to see everything that I talk about and some of what I experience. He has been able to point out so many good things to me, that I guess I just never noticed. Like the fact the PE is not an isolated bubble- we have so many friends and connections here. That we are dealing with very difficult boys but that even the smallest change in them is something to be proud of. Plus, with the boys i think it is great for them to have a fun dad figure around. Dad is great at joking and playing with little boys. Tomorrow he is doing a work shop with the boys for their bikes (rather once were bikes). I know that he is worried that he is not prepared to do a workshop for them. but just having that type of attention from a man will be great. it is just hard because we (pe people) are always having to be the strict parents and Dad is able to be like a fun uncle. i think it is a great visit for them and him, even if it is a short visit. it is just showing me how everyone has a place and a gift to give the world. there is so much for the fall and i just feel like my whole family is like getting on board and filling in gaps. Spencer with his soccer and then mom and dad with their personal experiences. it should just be interesting to see everything pan out. And man is it going to be busy... time for bed. nighty night

I know I have abandoned you...

Alright here in goes- one giant entry. Let the party begin. Hopefully you will get a better understanding of what is going on here, how busy it is and why at the end of the day I never seem have time to write as much as I want to.

So the three day break we took a month ago is where I will begin. Those three days were orginally schedule to regroup, talk about the structure for the boys and while we did talk some about that stuff we got a little side tracked by a big thing. It is funny/perfect how God works. We knew we need the three days, but we did know that we would desperately need them. On the first day, though community members we were informed that we were on the radar of the Dominican immigration officials. As we dig deeper and find out more information we come to find it is our neighbors who are pressuring the government. The government actually cares very little but our neighbors made a big to do. I can understand. The PE house is in a middle class Dominican neighborhood, not exactly a welcoming environment for illegal middle school age boys who dont actually know that it is possible to be quiet. Our neighbors had called the press and released their one sided story to pressure the government. The neighbors had warned us they would do this. So all this comes into the light on the first day and then shortly later we find out that immigration is coming to our house in 10 days. We looked everywhere and there seemed to be no house available. July 2nd was just a few days away and I am more than stressed. I also owed the internet cafe 10 pesos. So I stopped in to pay them back and then continue the search for the solution. I was attempting to explain to the man at the internet cafe but i was so exhausted I couldnt get a word of spanish out. then in an american accent he says ´try english, if it works for you it works for me.´ after commenting on his accent we were in conversation about what i was doing here. he was completely interested and explained that the cafe supported his work here (a free clinic, a school for dominicans and haitians without birth certificates, a church). I explained to him our current pickle and he said okay here are all my telephone numbers. I want you and the directors to call me, because i have a great house. can you believe it. and he did. it was true. we moved our boys in on sunday after church and when immigration showed up on monday there was no one there. talk about miracles!!!
the boys house is now their house and we are treating it like a home and not a base for daily activities.
daily activities, lunch and dinner all happen out of the building we finished behind Pastora Susana´s house. The boys are stilling getting use to how everything runs, but it is solving a lot of the behavior problems. Though plenty still remain.
We have had several soccer games 3 wins 1 tie and 2 losses. The supastars are still super. I have a team picture, I will post it on the blog when I return to the United States.
I still go to the market with Rosa daily which is great and I am still keeping track of finances. I must say I am motivated to continue and love it everyday, but I am exhausted. I have never worked such long days in my life. I wake up at 6am and finish the day with the boys around 8:30pm and then work on finances. I am not trying to make myself out as wonder woman, but this is my excuse in failing to write more frequent.
I have made so many friends in the community. I go to this one store everyday at the market and I also have a short chat with the owner. I love it, because I feel like a member of Puerto Plata. I also get 2 bananas from this one old man in his garage store everyday. Recently he hasnt had any so he gets me some from his personal stash in his house. It is just like these little things that friends do that are just so uplifting. It is knowing that I am not just another gringa. I cant tell you what a high i get when i realize that this becoming my community too!
Parenting. I have whole new insights into the job and way mad respect for my parents. I understand the phase `this hurts me more than it does you´or `I really want to give you this, but I cant´or why parents have to go on dates or mini holidays or why summer vacation is not nearly as exciting as it is for the kids or why snow days are a pain in the butt. I knew why before, but now i understand. when the kids use to get out because the school had flooded from rain, it was fun to do some creative things with them, but it was so hard to get the daily tasks of the house done. I apologize, Mom and Dad, for saying `you dont understand´and it was a lie when i said `i will never do this to my kids.´ I just understand, because now for almost 3 months I have had kids. it is not the same as babysitting. no, not at all. this is a lot of work and sometimes my heart is just broken. but when they have a victory, even a small one. i have never felt such joy and pride. parenting is one heck of a rollercoaster ride.
i have one more surprise...
which i will tell you in august...
it is a good one...
hopefully as things are getting into some sort of orderly chaos here, I will be able to write more. I want to be able to share specific stories.
Love and hugs from one grateful girl in the DR!

Some more details to come. I promise. I just have such a limited time on the internet and thing here are so busy.

I would like to announce that the boys have asked me to join their soccer team!!! Yes I know how cool is that? We have real games and everything. The team name is the Supastars, its pretty much a big deal. Haha but seriously I was so excited. I played with some of the boys on the beach one day and then the next day they were like ¨pequeña (that is my name here, it means small one) you know much about soccer, will you play with the supastars?¨ How could I not say yes. It is a lot of work, we have two hours of practice each day and it is hot here.But I am proud to say the boys always want me to be on their team in practice. Yes, they have inflated my head a bit. Really it just comes down to I love being able to do something fun with them and on a team with a common goal is even better. Bobi let me borrow his cleats. We have a tourni this weekend. But a couple of us might not be able to play because it may be only for the youngest. I am still excited. I am definately getting a team pictures. Our team color is red, actually it is the old Godwin H.S. boys´soccer uniforms. It is sweet. I will update you all on our games. And eventually write in detail about the daily action at the house. Much love from the DR!!!

So the facts...

The boys have been great and they have been huge brats. They are really into extremes. The group also has come to the conclusion that we need to take time to communicate and re-evaluate our plan of action. As you can guess, it is difficult to take a large chuck of time to sit down and talk with a bunch of crazy Haitian boys running around. But the time is needed. The solution was reach earlier this week. We found places for the boys to stay for 3 days and we would close the PE house. The volunteers stay at a separate house, so the boys house will truly be closed. The time will be used to remind the boys the house is not a right and that we put a lot in to paying and maintaining the house. The group of Americanos will then be able to use the time to rest and regroup. It all goes down today at two. I will let you know how it goes!

Gracias

I am thankful. For the odd and ends life has given me.

I have a little brother, who did little brother things. it helps me understand that boys just do boy things. and like to pick and even more so get a reaction

I have a brother who is now my best friend and I know I can tell him anything. He wont judge me, but he is honest.

I am thankful my Dad loves to go in to the kitchen and cook up special things. I have learned to do that on Saturday mornings for the boys- they are now huge fans of eggs with cheese.

I am glad my mom taught me how to sew on buttons, use the "quiet voice," and listen to someone cry. the boys need all off these things.

I am thankful I have witnessed so many strong women in my life. The boys know they cant ruffle me. Well, they do sometimes, but unless they learn English and read my blog they will never know.

I love the email from the States. I am thankful to be reminded how huge my family is.

Today was rough and tomorrow will be probably worse. But I am hopeful and thankful for all the little things I have learned. Tonight I will write more about the fact of the PE House. For now this is all I feel compelled to say. I love you all!

These past several days

I feel so behind on updating you all on my updates. So much happens in just an hour here. Lets see where to begin…

Well we have a different mixture of boys at the house now. No boys were kicked out, but some did decide to return to Haiti. I had mixed feelings on this at first, but I think Dorothy of the Wizard of Oz sums it up “there is no place like home.” Some of these boys were young and had not seen their families in several years. Little Alex just wanted to see his mother so badly. They know that we are always here for them and the choice to return was their own. I feel like we will see them again in the future, but I continue to pray for them. We did not send them alone. We bought them a few things to help them out, paid for transportation and send a guardian to ensure safe travels. I worry, but I know it is what they wanted. I guess a love one feels for those who are closest to them is great then the fear chaos gives. I think this even more true when one has nothing. I just pray that they are kept safe. Haiti is… dangerous is too weak of a word. Haiti is a place of despair that successfully kills the hope and joy of many.

Structure. What we are trying to implement. The idea seemed so easy sitting in the United States thinking about it. Here let’s talk about a challenge. Reality TV has nothing on the Project Esperanza house. Not that our house is fake drama or even real drama, it is just really exciting. We have teenage boys who have never really had rules before in their lives and now we are trying to put some. We are working on distribution of responsibilities and from this creating structure. There is chore rotation, shower hours, laundry days, meal times. All things that seem normal to me, but are a foreign concept to the boys. I am also beginning to understand why Haiti has the political climate it does. Not that the citizens of Haiti are at fault, but they have been conditioned. Our boys when they are not happy cause a chaotic riot. Boys get upset when they don’t even know what they are being upset over. For example, if a boy steals food then he is not served the next meal. Well a few of our boys had been caught stealing food (a big problem) and therefore the following meal they were asked to pay the consequence for their choice. The boys must then sit outside during meal time. Then one boy will say “They are starving us.” So a boy in the house tries to smuggle a plate and then when caught they say “but you are trying to starve my Haitian brother!” Chaos may or may not ensue. But being consistent is key. After a few days or a week the boys get the deal and it becomes something they expect. It is this way for every little thing though. This means it just takes a ton of time, a lot of effort and one must appreciate the small victories. I think the great thing is that I am here for the whole summer and I am able to witness the big change. I tell myself, “Cameron, if you can handle 20 unruly teenage boys, there is nothing that you can’t conquer.” That is a bit of an exaggeration, but it keeps me motivated.

I love the market! It is by far the favorite part of my day. Rosa and I have blast; we are normally chatting away and then cracking up about something. The other day a huge tour bus pulled into the market and the classic stereotypes of tourist got off. There is art and other Dominican trinkets at the market- it is not just food. So Rosa and I comment on the gringos and then we encounter a few. This one woman is speaking Spanish, but really slowly and very poorly. She would say one syllable at a time as if she was trying to speak to a person who did not speak Spanish. After Rosa and I began our walk back home we began to crack up. I would imitate the tourist for her and she would just laugh and laugh. Then she would imitate them for me and I would laugh. Then we moved onto Rosa learning English and me learning Creole. We laughed more at how poorly we were doing. It was all just little things, but it is like we are just good ol’ friends. I am not a gringa and she is not Haitian. We are just two people living in Puerto Plata for the summer. (Her home is outside of Puerto Plata). On other days Rosa will let me do the bargaining with the food. We also have to laugh about this. Because sometimes I fail miserably and normally just am like I give up I am too flustered. However, that is becoming more and more rare. So when that doesn’t happen and I get a good deal on something, the salesman normally just has this look of shock on his face. Rosa finds this highly amusing. Rosa also loves to be my posse. She snaps back at the nasty old men for me. I love this too. Although, the men at the butcher’s now treat me like a local. I don’t have to argue the price and they don’t hit on me. I might be straight up Dominican by the end of the summer. So the market is amusing, but it is also my own little arena where Rosa and I do-our-thing.
hopeful hugs from the DR!

Monday June 4th

It is so busy here. Gemse has been having seizures. He spent a few nights in the hospital. I do want to thank Dr. LaRusso for some thoughts. Doctors here are not all about sharing, they whole medical system is very different. Gemse was released today, but we are finding that just because he is out of the hospital doesnt mean he is well. Fortunately, God has blessed us with a Dominican social worker that specializes in working with Haitians. Is that not amazing- just the help we needed. We had a stand off with the boys today. They stole some stuff from the house- keys, locks, random things. We said nobody is allowed in the house until all things returned. I was in the house. The only one with the ability to unlock the door. Rosa, our cook, was with me too- so not completely allow. Caitlin, Kristin and Sher waited on the porch. After a riot from the boys they gave in. The things were returned and then a meeting was held. the boys were given the expectations for living in the house. They dont have to follow the rules if they dont want to, but if that is their choice they also have to find a new house. We got down to business today. No one had lunch, but a big victory was gained. Below is an blurb from my journal during my 6 hour stay inside the house during our stand off, my imagination is still fully intact, as you will read.

I am a princess. Trapped in a castle with a war raging outside the castle walls. I am also a spy, gathering information and passing it to those on the front lines by way of a secret code.

Okay, so in reality I am an unshowered volunteer inside a house engaging in a stand off with 17 teenage boys. I peep out the windows and keep tabs on them and pass my sightings on to other volunteers sitting on the porch in my native tongue.

I have to say it is an advantage to be able to speak English and know the boys dont have a clue what is coming out of my lips.

written june 2nd, yes it is two days stale- lo siento

Hello Everyone! I feel like I have abandoned you all for a few days. Lo siento. Things have been a bit intense here in Puerto Plata. The boys are the boys. I love them, but sometimes I want to pull my hair out. It is the moments of breakthrough, that make it so wonderful. So the house has been its normal level of chaos. But, I can tell you we are learning so much and coming up with some great things for these boys. The point system has been revamped and revived. Before the points were solely earned through tutoring, now it encompasses so much more. The boys get points for going to school, point boints for being on time. They can earn point by doing chores without having to be reminded, and loose them if their chores are not completed. If they fight points are lost, if they are caught being good they can earn them. The system is pretty in depth, I am impressed. Also, the points now work as their allowance system to help teach fiscal responsibility. The way it works is ‘x’ amount of points equals one peso. The boys money is then keep in our ‘bank.’ The boys can spend the money as they choose, but they are responsible for all their wants. The boys must talk about why they made their choice and why they think it was wise. As the boys grasp an understanding we will expand to more financial lessons. With all these great things coming into place you maybe wondering, ‘why has it been intense?’ The intensity has come from medical issues. Not my own. No, one of our boys, Gemse, has been having serious seizures. He had 2 in one day and the hospital brushed it off, but then after another seizure took it more seriously.(Dr. LaRusso thanks for answering my questions). He was given medicine, but the medicine didn’t have enough time to kick in before his net spell. That spell was incredibly scary. It began at 10:30 would last 30 minutes then pause. Then another episode would occur. Gemse was here at the volunteer house that night and it took about four volunteer to restrain him. After his second seizure he was drowsy then all the sudden became a character in a horror movie. I don’t know how else to describe it. It was as if he were possessed. He would try to bite the volunteers. He would say that a zombie was walking in his head. We wanted to get him to the hospital, but ambulances stop running at 10pm. No cab driver would have driven us and we just could imagine trying to restrain him in a beat up cab. That was my second all nighter watching Gemse. At 7am we were finally able to get him to the hospital where he was admitted to the ICU. While under the watch of doctors and doped up on drugs he has now had several more seizures. Gemsi remembers nothing during the seizures or about a half an hour preceding the seizure. As you can imagine, we are all very concerned for him and unsure of what to do once he is released. He has wanted to return to Haiti, but I don’t know if that is an option. I also don’t know if we can keep him in our house. I love him dearly and want the best for him, but what is the best? What can I give? I ask these questions and know that people here have to face them daily.
Tomorrow is Sunday. I am taking the day for total reflection and prayer with a sprinkling of laundry. I know one decision for sure, when I get back to the States I am looking into getting my EMT certification. It is not just seizure here. Today Alex got a cast. He broke his arm while playing soccer. We have 17 boys there are plenty of cuts, bruises and headaches. I am thankful I had two semester of Anatomy with Dr. Pasek. I feel slightly more equipped. Just to know how thing work together and have some background knowledge when speaking with the doctors aqui.
In summary, this summer is filled with trials- that is clear. But I have hope and energy. I have faith that the Lord will provide. And I am reminding myself that if it were an easy, simple task, then it would not be an effort that is for great change.
With hope, Cameron

P.S. I am sorry for any grammatical errors or misspellings. I typing fast and the key boards here are more than wack.

Reflection from Sunday

The boys here are definately growing up. It is hard for someone to see without knowing the boys, but we know. It is just baby steps. These boys were asked to be adults at a very young age and with no tools to do so. They have learned how to survive. I am just so proud to see the little bit of progress they make each day. Luis has just opened up so much! Here is my recap from Sunday. I can tell I am just growing up so much myself. I am learning lessons and just learning to stretch my patience a little further. I will be so excited to sit and reflect at the end of my time here and just see how everything tied in and became one huge life changing experience. \I feel like God is just opening doors and presenting challenges. I am doing things I have never known I could do. I am also learning to give up things that I dont like to give up. I cant say to much now, just because I havent been here long enough. I just know that this is going to be one amazing summer and God is just going to rock my world.
Today was refreshing- sort of- after church we were at the house for a while and I got to spend some quality time with Luis. I feel like I was back to square one with him when I arrived this summer. But today I feel like I made major progress with him, he really was sweet today. Normally he will just be mean and call me malo, but today he was like holding my hand and just being sweet. I was so excited about it. He was also asking why my hair was curly. Yes, my hair is struggling to stay straight- it is interesting. Around 4:00pm Andrew, JP, Krista, Lauren and I went to my aunt’s apartment and did laundry and I took a nap. I really didn’t want to go today. I would have been happier to take some quiet time at the volunteer house and then go back to the boys. I just feel bad not being available to help Caitlin and play with the boys. I feel like I should be doing more to help support her and Kristen. Caitlin tells me how happy she is that I take care of errands and the money stuff, but I just feel like I should do more. I like doing the nutrition stuff. I guess I just struggle to take time for myself, because I see how much needs to be done. It is just hard to walk away from it all. Caitlin said that she Luis and I could sit down and talk one day. I would like that. I feel like Luis is mean not to get attention but to test us, to see if we are going to abandon him. Today, I told him that with the help of Caitlin. I told him on my own that I wasn’t giving up on him. Actually, I said that no matter what he would always be my brother. I guess they just don’t frequently see real love or even know what it is. Luis told Caitlin that he had a bad heart and had guns in Haiti which he could use to do bad things to others. I have faith that while evil rules his heart right now and influences his choices now, that the evil can be made lesser and seed of love can grow larger. It is just going to take time. Every time he hits me or does something, I give him a look and a few words that convey the idea that he is wrong, but he knows that. He is testing me, like I said. I then give him a hug that he tries to escape from. Today though, he willing took hugs. Oh yeah!!! This is how it is with most of the boys though, slow progress and a lot of work to get there. Caitlin and Kristen are so amazing that they can give so much energy to these boys.

Another great project

Below is a letter from two Haitian men, who are living in the Dominican and have started a school in a really poor area. The men are also students at a local college. They need as much help and support as they can get. I have visited the school and they are doing as much as they can and really bringing hope to children in rough situations. They are looking to pay 5 teachers 4000 pesos a month. The teachers work 32 hours a week, so that translate to about 1 dollar an hour per teacher or 129 dollars per month. This project is not under Project Esperanza, but is an awesome grassroots type movement by two men who have very little themselves. Let me know if you all are interested in helping in anys. Sometimes the best way to help is just to spread the word.

From: The Seventh Adventist Church of Muñoz
School of the United Brothers and Sisters of Muñoz

To: The Brothers and Sisters of the Church in the United States



Dear Brothers and Sisters,

We greet you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ from now and forever and we take this opportunity to present to you our project for children in Muñoz. But with the same parable of Jesus Christ: What you did for the least of these brothers of mine, you have done for me (Matthew 25:40).
Why are we in Muñoz? The answer has many parts: in the area of Muñoz in the Dominican Republic the situation is very serious for students. It’s an area that has the poorest people in the country, and parents don’t have jobs that give them the ability to help their children. Those of us that live in the city of Puerto Plata went to Muñoz and formed a school called The United Brothers and Sisters of Muñoz, which has a director and four teachers. Classes are in two groups – one from 8am to 12pm from Monday to Friday, and another on the weekend from 8am to 2pm. Some of us who are teachers are also university students but because of our love for the children we have given our strength and our time to help them with their future. With your support we can pay for our transportation to the school in Muñoz; and our needs for the school itself are to find pay for the teachers so that they can discover the dreams of these young people, so that they can become professionals, children of God that preach the gospel, and people that know that they door to success in life is education. Our own studies are a testimony to that dream and we are still looking to find the answer for a better tomorrow, with your help.

Dear brothers and sisters, let’s have a conscience for the poor in this country.
May the peace of God always guide your path.



Lafontant Evanz and Jacques Garry

a rather lengthy entry with lots of thoughts

I really wanted to take the time to talk about so much, but the internet café is so limiting. So being the genius I am I finally figured out I can type it on a Project Esperanza laptop and then save it to my flash drive and post it. I hope this works…
The boys are the first thing I really want to talk about. As I have mentioned before Caitlin and Kristen are really taking the time to build a strong foundation. A strong foundation is the best idea, but not the quickest. This is fine, but daily tasks can be more chaotic in the beginning in the process. However, I really feel like all the volunteers have collaborated and had great discussions about how to improve things such as meals and cleaning the boys’ house. One of the ideas is the rotation of chores using the little brother/big brother system. The rotation is posted for the entire week. There are seven chores, seven groups, and conveniently seven days in a week. The boys have to have a volunteer sign off that they have complete there chore for the day. The boys fought a bit about the system, but once they realize there was no getting out of it they have stepped up and done beautifully. If you expect good things from the boys they are better and vice-versa. We have also revamped the point system from January. Since the boys attend school we do not do as much one on one tutoring, so now the point count towards other things they are expect to do. Expectations include going to school, completing chores, behaving nicely with one another, etc. Points can also be taken away for misbehavior- fighting, begging for points, not attending school, etc. The donation store is them opened to them on Saturday mornings to buy things with there points. The point system has the potential for several things: first, encouraging good behavior and providing an opportunity for consequences for bad behavior. Without points we don’t have enough rewards for consequences. Their rewards previously were a home and food, we can’t take those away without violating human rights. Secondly, the boys learn how to save. They do not have to spend their points each week, so they can save up for more expensive items. Thirdly, it is an avenue to give the boys the donations. If there is an immediate need then we obviously meet that need right away. But things such as playing cards are not a necessity, therefore the boys can work to earn them. I love this because then we are not just Americans with donations, the point system works to eliminate that and allow us to be family.
Within the boys there are definitely leaders emerging. Project Esperanza is nurturing those natural leaders and providing times for them to step up. For example, Steve and Jerace lead the soccer team. Steve is the coach. As coach, he plans soccer practice each day and coaches during the games. Jerace is the captain of the team. The team is developing into quite the successful endeavor. Not only is the team playing well and winning, rules and structure are emerging. It is so awesome to see it grow and transform. The team name is super stars. The fans are pretty into it as well. People from the community will watch as well and get into the game- it is just so incredible.
I feel like I am growing just as much if not more than the boys. I am of course developing critical skills such as carrying food on my head and how to free style rap. Seriously, I do feel like I am going. I have been to the Dominican Republic with Project Esperanza before, but that does not mean it is a comfortable situation. I really feel like God is providing opportunities for me to use my gifts and refine them. I work daily on the boys nutrition and with a baby who is very malnourished. I am paying for the baby’s food out of pocket, so I don’t know if it can be a full summer project, but right now it is great. I am learning to take baby steps with the parents and their misconceptions and cultural preferences. The mother made the choice not to breastfeed, but then they were giving this child regular powered milk. They are on a tight budget and so am I so now we collectively come up with creative methods to better the little girl’s nutritional intake. I am so excited. The little girl, she is 6 months, was very comfortable around me and is just generally a happy little girl. The father and I talk about other things as well, which is really great. The casual conversation builds trust, so they trust me more when I suggest a new change. I have only met with the father several times, but I am hopeful that God is just going to turn this into an awesome opportunity. Personally, I feel like I am realizing how things that I thought were barriers are being used to help me in other ways. I guess hindsight is 20/20 but I think my hindsight is encourage my uneasiness to be put to rest. Often I feel like I am too young to be useful. I am realize that in this environment in able to make a change one must not be jaded by failure. My youth allows me to be that way, just because I haven’t been beaten with the “reality stick yet.” Everyday I see how Project Esperanza receives support form the most unexpected places. When an opportunity arises sometimes you just have to take it and have faith that the means will be provided. I feel like this philosophy is constantly reaffirmed here. I hope I can transfer it out of this environment into my American environment.
One example, is the school/community center that we are working on build. For the folks at First Presbyterian this is a project you all are helping support. We didn’t know how we would staff it, but a local church body has stepped up and taken some serious interest in providing support for manning and making this happen. The project is also supported by First Presbyterian in Winchester. It is just amazing the places we find help. Also, it has carried over into the boys’ home. A prominent man in the community was impressed with the work we have accomplished and is now looking at providing a place for the boys’ to live. We already have a place, but he would provide a place for free until we build a house to suite. This would be awesome because it would eliminate some large costs. Also, the lot is an acre in size, so the boys would have even more space to play and be boys. So many other community members have come into the picture to help Project Esperanza find land to build. We want to build so that the house is ours and so that we have a house that best suites the boys. We may also include a school building, so we can provide an even stronger education for the boys. We also need more space. We have sixteen boys living in the boys’ home, so we are renting another apartment for the volunteers. The volunteer apt. is full of suitcases and mattresses on the floor. Long term volunteers sleep in the living room, and then we have 3 bedrooms for the short term volunteers. The volunteers who are here all summer are generally the last to go to bed so that is why they are in one room. But we are really just one hodgepodge, very open family. In the volunteer apt. there is no real furniture, but it is great. I love it! I love it because beside our family with the boys we are building our own mini gringo family. Lots of good times already and I know more are coming.
So in summary, I am growing, the boys are growing, relationships are being built and as a consequence the world is being changed for the better, even if only in small ways. I feel like this summer is going to be one of the greatest experiences in my life and will go by way to fast. Please continue to pray for the welfare of those here, the growth of the boys’ and the enduring strength and support for Project Esperanza. God is all powerful, but each day I am, like the rest of us, faced with choices. Pray that I choose wisely and make the choice in love.
Bring on tomorrow!!!

doors that i didnt even know existed

I have now been told I write the exact same way I talk. Hahaha. I guess that is good because it is the honest me writing to a varied audience. I just find it amusing.

Today, I have just been thinking about how doors that I did even know existed have opened and I have just been going with the flow and walkin on through. For example, I would have never guess that I would be the person keeping track of the money. Of course, I have a lot of help from the people in the States, but still I just think of myself as well not the money girl. I am enjoying it though, not enough to change majors though. Also, I thought I would be working with the clinic I worked with in January on nutrition education, but no. however, I have really had the opportunity to better the nutrition of our boys. I feel like it is as much of a real life problem as I can be exposed to. I have the budget and I know I can't go over. I have cultural barriers and some kids who are just plain picky for the sake of being picky. I have to find different foods at the local market and then negociate with them. i am a gringa so it is more difficult. oh but man today i got an awesome deal on bananas. go me! hahaha. but seriously i am so proud of that accomplishment. plus, i have been inviting several of the boys to go with me. i feel like it is a great experience for them to. i explain the budget and that we need some carbs, protein and fruits or veggies. they are starting to really get the hang of it. but they have trouble picking a variety of food. they are first always say arroz, habichuelos y pollo (rice, beans and chicken). then we go from there. oh they crack me up. I am just excited to be here, to be challenged and doing pretty well. My spanish is also improving, definately with the vocabulary I use in the mercado. I am glad I brought my pocket spanish dictionary along though. Well, it is time for my afternoon trip to the market to get some stuff for dinner. time to get my barginning on. oh and i am getting pretty good at carrying food on my head. i am turning into a real local, minus the blonde hair. hope all is well with you! hugs from puerto plata's newest local.

Big Brother Little Brother system

So the house can be really chaotic. Caitlin has come up with a system that reduces the chaos. the boys who live in the house are divided into littles and bigs. Each big has a little and helps them with daily routines and chores. For example, getting ready for school in the morning or doing laundry on Wednesday. The pairs are also assigned one chore for the day, such as sweeping and mopping the floors or helping clean up after a meal. The system is young and needs to have the kinks worked out. But who knew that greek life could provide us with such tools.

On a personal note... I had a blonde moment this morning.
Yes, I walked into a glass door. Not just walked into the door, no I slammed my body unknowingly into a very solid piece of glass and woke the entire volunteer house up. Of course they were laughing and have not stopped joking on me. But I have to admit it was hilaaaaaaarious. Go ahead laugh, because I am still very much a blonde. But JP did write a song about it, so I now officially have a song with guitar chords and everything about me. hahaha.
much love and watch out for those tricky glass doors!

the market

the market is an experience. i go with Rosa, our cook, everyday to get food. we go to a truck full of plantains and buy plantains, then we walk in to a little tent to get makings for the salad, but they try to over charge so we walk to another. then an area with just sacks of beans and scoop out beans and argue a little to lower the price. then we stop to get some oil for cooking. it is full os smells. but if you are picturing a romantic outdoor market, scratch that idea. no, this would not meet FDA standard by any means. our chicken, which is dead and clean, but still a whole chicken, is cut on an cutting board, that is really a log. it is weighed on a scale that i doubt has ever been cleaned. all this just is so incredible to me. i suppose it is by the grace of God that people here are as healthy as they are. i plan the boys meals, with the help of Rosa. I discovered that they are not a fan of corn. oh well, they are going to be exposed to veggies no matter what. today it was peas, but that went over fine. tomorrow squash, maybe? fruit is not a problem we have 3 fruit trees in our yard and we buy them even more. they love fruit. they also love vinegar. i feel like i am really being exposed to situations that i want to deal with in the future. taking a budget, resources and taste buds into account and creating a balanced meal. it is hard but i love it!!! the volunteers eat breakfast at the volunteer house, where there is no stove or fridge. i need to get a balanced meal that 6 to 12 people will like that is inexpensive and requires no special storage (like being kept cold) or preparation, like a stove. we have things such as wheat rolls with peanut butter and apple sause. apple sause is the jelly, because traditional jelly is too expensive. it is like a logic problem, but yummy. i am also enjoying being "house manager," but since time is running out here at the internet cafe i will save that story for later. smiles from the island of hispanola!

taking care of business

Wow, it is so busy here. I am visiting a culture that has a 2 hour siesta each day and by the end of my day I pass out from exhaustion. The boys are wonderful, for the most part. I am working hard on their diet and the diet of the volunteers. On such a tight budget it is tough, but this is great experience. At the volunteer house we dont have a fridge or a stove, so getting a filling, healthy and inexpensive breakfast for a lot of people is tough. With the boys they are so picky and have started complaining. We had a good talk the other night though. Caitlin, Kristen and Enzo talked about being grateful when so many around them have absolutely nothing. They got it and the next day meals went much smoother. It is hard, wanting to help them and allowing them to make choices, but on the same time we are on a tight budget with a lot of boys. I think it will all smooth out. We had some corn and plantains for the first time since january yesterday and today I am hoping to make sweet peas for them. we will see. the boys who live in the house are still going to school and doing supplimental work at the house. the boys who come to the house just during the day do some tutoring and activities.
We have started taking the boys to the beach after lunch each day. It is great, because they run and swim and expend energy. they also dont fight with each other (knock on wood). they have soccer practice after the beach so by the end of the day they are a bit more mellow. the volunteers and the boys both love the beach because it cools you off. i generally do not like the beach and would opt out of going, but i love it now!!!

okay well time is running out and there is a lot of work to be done. love you all!

14, 15, 16 de mayo

Hello All.

I gave my blog to so many people is seems odd to address so many at once. So with 20 minutes remaining. I will try to summarize all that has happened in three days.

we have 13 boys with 2 adults living at the boys home. more visit the house each day and receive two meals. food is always tight. some how it all works out. water disappears rapidly, as it is hot and sticky here. Sandy and Jen, I have seen a few boys sporting YMCA shirts, none from b burg though. Oh Jen, I am saving water. At the volunteer house the waste water from the sink now fills the toilet basin. although there are some kinks the plan. we have currently 6 volunteers here. we are all very busy all the time. but i have seen the fruits of our previous labor, the boys who were here in january have grown up so much and are going to school everyday! we started a soccer team for the boys they are doing so well. they won there game today two to zero. they have jerseys that a team in the states donated, i believe godwin high school in richmond. the other team was made up of much older and bigger boys, but our team is just too awesome. they also have donated cleats that they wear. they are looking good, hahaha.

we have a puppy at the house that suzie, krista and I have taken under our wing. it is a very skinny, sickly puppy, but seeming more lively each day. it can be but 2 months old. his name is jack.

i am 'house manager' meaning i keep track of when we need water, getting supplies, setting up the new volunteer house, making sure it gets clean, going to the market with rosa, our cook, to get food. i also look after the volunteer retreat apartment, so kindly rented by my aunt kiss for me. volunteers can go to the outskirts of puerto plata for a day or so to just take some quite time and personal space. we have a different house for the volunteers, i think we will all want a break at one point or another and the retreat apt. is perfect for that.

i am sorry this is so choppy. i will hopefully have a bit more time to be more fluid once everything finds some sort of pattern, i use 'pattern' loosely.

and one last thing HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD!

i am tired, very dirty * i have yet to shower*, hopeful and empowered.
hugs and best thoughts to all!

Reflection on the Last Day from the USA

So my last post covered the first part of the last day, several emotional events dealing with first hand racism. We are still trying to figure out what went wrong with the rent, I do not know if we will ever figure that out.

I can not tell you how strange it is to by typing on my "normal" computer with no ticking time limit at the top of the screen.

The last evening was full of tears. We went out to dinner and "our" five Haitian boys came with us. They played on a playground while we ate and a few gringos tried their singing talents with karaoke. After eatting I found Luis in the back of the playground silently crying. I teared up immediately and just hugged him. I knew there was no comforting, how can the sad cheer the sad? Luis and I both began sobbing. We had become such buds. I thought of all the memories. Coloring with him the first few days he was too timid to write. Watching the intelligance of an 11 year old unfold as he wrote and completed simple math. Daily walks around Puerto Plata. His embrassment as I sang "Buttercup" at the top of my lungs on the Malacon. Reciting lines from the Lion King with him, he was always Rafiki. I couldn't believe I was leaving him- to live alone on the streets. He was my Haitian brother, my friend and my teacher. From that moment on a I was a mess for the rest of the night. I was not alone, gringos and Haitians we crying together. I was thankful to Luis to cry himself to sleep, it took away some of the pain.

Enso, our 19 year old Haitian friend/student, cried with me for a long time. I think we both had headaches and were dehydrated by the end. The sarrow had no end. I cried until my eyeballs hurt and the skin around my eyes was red and swollen. I cried on and off for two days.

I still tear up, I miss my family in the Dominican. I have heard from Luis a couple of times. I was furious he spent money on a phone call- he has no money. I loved hearing his voice and knowing he would survive. One time I answered the phone and the first thing I heard was " Rafiki will show you the way!" I loved it!!!

Life in the United States is weird. I forgot that toilets work, that hot showers exist, and that I also had a life here too! I did not realize how much I changed. It was all new in the DR, so there was nothing to compare too. My life here fits me differently. I feel like I have grown so much, more than I know I think. I think it will take a few weeks to settle in and find my place in this world again. I am not the same and my life will never be the same.

I find myself thinking about what I can do here for the Dominican. Just talking about it has brought some results. I have a few more ideas cultivating and will relieve more as they have more of a frame work.

Life is powerful, and the will to survive exists; I just want to nurture that will.

Rough Day for Gringos

So today is was our last day with the boys and so much happened. All of us experienced racism in some manner. I was left at the house by myself with the boys and China, our cook. Bernard, a friend of Project Esperanza came over with his art. I was playing with the boys and all the sudden I come to find that Bernard and China are in a heated debate about the Haitians in the DR. I did not know what to do or say, I just let them battle. I sent the boys to the concha down the street to play. Nicoris, China's niece, often plays at the house and was there today. But today she began to beg to me for money. I was like "what do you want the money for?" She wanted new shoes. We had given the boys shoes that were donated by various people and brought to the DR from the USA with the purpose of being given to the Haitian boys we teach. Nicoris wanted me to give her some of those shoes and I was like ask Caitlina, which she had apparently done and gotten a negative response. I was so glad when Padre Rafiel showed up and I could speak with him and ignore the rest of the house guests. It was a lot for me to handle. But the other gringos were dealing with racism and illiness in other parts of Puerto Plata.

I don't know the details on this next story, but one of our Haitian boys is being robbed of his house, in which we already paid the rent on. I will write more as a I know more- right now there are no clear facts and lots of passionate feelings flowing.

Another one of our boys in the hospital possibly with a tumor. Again, I will write more when I know more.

It has been quite the finally here in the DR.

Finished with the school

We finished the work we had planned for this trip on Suzanna's school. We fixed water leakage problems, put a coating of latex waterproof paint on the entire inside and outside and got the windows put on. YAY! It is looking great, the boys may be able to start school there soon, how great that would be for them.

I am still working on learning the Dominican way, it is a bit different than American logic. It seems frequently symptoms are treated rather than the problem. It takes a lot for us gringos to get what is seen as the solution. I do appreciate the daily siesta though.

Time is flying by here, and so much has happened. Tomorrow is my last full day with the boys and then on Friday we have a half day with them. Our flight leaves at 6am on Saturday morning, so it is looking like we will have to catch a taxi at midnight on Friday and spend the night in the airport. Many more adventures are ahead, and I am pumped.

Boys will be boys

So having a house full of boys during the day often brings about conflict. Boys naturally tend to wrestle and such, but with they enviroment they are brought up in it seems to frequently turn into more, than well is necessary. This trip is a trial trip for things like this and I love the ways we are solving issues that arise. We have two large whiteboard with schedules of the day posted and various posters reminding them of the rules and responsiblities of each person. The boys are so cute, they love to be like the gringo boys. Louis always wants to jump in and help them build or work on the school. I think it is great for the gringo guys to be here, they serve as a super male role model. The girls have become quite maternal, especially towards the little ones. I love to see our Esperanza family form. One man on the street questioned us by saying "A black and white family?" I thought yeah, that is right we are a family.

I am exhausted, yet empowered. Many hugs from here in the DR.

Humbled by the Toilet

Ever since Nathaniel left Noah, Thomas and I have been in charge of the water and household maintenance, including the toilets. The water is a constant challenge; our drinking water is deliver in 5 gallon jugs and all other water comes in the water truck. The water truck fills up a cistern, it costs 10 dollars for a truck. We have 4 cisterns. 3 on the ground- 1 collects rain water, 1 is filled up by the truck and the 3rd is connected to the pump and the 4th is on the roof. Apparently they were all once connect to the pump, but currently only one is. So the one that the truck fills up has to be drained in the tank connected to the pump. The pump then has to pump the water to the roof tank so that we have water pressure via gravity. It is the Dominican way, it seems to make things more complicated than necessary. It is also common for the pump not to work. Noah, Thomas and I spent over an hour working on fixing the pump today. A computer guy, chemical engineer and a nutrition major trying to be a plumber. But i feel useful and the knowledge is good to have since I will be here so long this summer.

The toilets are a whole other story- yuck! I have been so humbled by these things. Noah, Thomas and I have had to fix the toilets. Here in the DR one can not flush toilet paper down the toilet, so it is thrown away. Water is precious and expensive so we only flush well... we have a little rhyme "if it is yellow let is be mellow, if it is brown go on and flush it down." So any problem with the toilet is going to be horrifically disgusting. Hopefully a real plumber is coming soon because I have had to fix it at least once a day for the past 3 days- delightful. I just try to keep thinking that knowledge of toilets will be helpful in the future and my stomach has gotten a little stronger.

The boys are as incredible as ever. I worked with them on math a lot today. The tough thing about basic multiplication is it is just memorization. Sometimes they get frustrated, but nothing a few words of affirmation cannot cure.

We got kicked off the concha (basketball court) a couple of times because it is Haitians and gringos. Noah also paid to take us out to lunch yesterday and the restaurant staff was very racist and tried to pull some tricks- luck for us we have some strong willed volunteers. The boys get embarrassed about it but then just love it we, the gringos, stick it to the Dominicans. Not all Dominicans are racist though, we have met plenty of ones who work to help the Haitians. The little boys also stick up for us females when some guy makes a comment. For example, some guy asked Carrie to marry him, Amillio responded she doesn´t want to marry a Dominican she wants to marry a Haitian. We all loved it.

If feel like we are giant family, just with no common blood lines. It is heartwarming and makes up for the less than pleasant toilet adventures.

That´s all for now, love from the Dominican.

Some Personal Thoughts

*grrr... my last entry didn't get posted*

I have grown some much in just a week's time. Here I have felt so much love. The little boys have given me more than they know and I feel more than I give to them. I came to give and I now have received. Life is a paradox it seems. I have learned so much about joy. Joy not happiness. Joy is a feeling from God, to have joy in the Lord can be constant. These little boys have that joy, and they have nothing. Louis has worn the same clothes every single day and he sleeps secretly on the porch of a Dominican house, yet he smiles and laughs and plays as soon as the opportunity arises. He is not bitter, he does not beg (to us)- he lives and is grateful. I cannot image I would be able to do that at the age of ten. I was probably crying to my parents begging them for some toy. I know I will struggle to accurately portray these boys, these little men. I knew their situation before I came, in fact I heard about it for a semester. I still did not understand and feel it in my heart until I saw it. No picture can capture this trip, no words can describe these feelings. I have cried out of joy, out of overwhelming feelings several times on this trip. Phillip, who is 6 and working, has given me gum and candy several times. Other boys do the same. I have been drawing with them and then they will later surprise me with a drawing they did on their own. I love to learn from them their card games, so different rules of soccer, but more than anything I want to learn to immitate their constant joy and giving spirit.

I have so much I want to do for this summer, for this life. I cannot give enough of myself to these boys. I will need to reflect on what I most want to accomplish for this summer. I cannot wait to do more. I have never been so sure of something, my purpose is to serve and love. Right now I feel I can best be used here. Caitlin is so supportive and just all around wonderful. I want to express all my ideas now, but I think I should first process and reflect. I do know that God has planned for me an epic and wonderful life. Trials here are constant, but with each new victory I feel like I am closer to the Lord and receive blessing. From those blessing come responsiblities and more trials, but I can do it- I know I can. I was created for this life.

Church today was amazing. It was 3 hours long, Spencer would joke on me for enjoying 3 hours of church, but it was so empowering. The church was in a tiny little building. I felt like it was a fort I would have created when I was in elementary school, the difference was the honor of the people. They were their for one purpose. It was very open and everyone did their personal prayers aloud. The sermon was in Spanish, but with some help I understood it. The message was patience. How we must be patient, God is not on our time. I teared up several times, I needed to hear it. Everyone was loving and kind and focused on God. I feel right now as if God has given me golden wings to fly with. I pray for the feeling this love to be reflected off of me and to everyone here and at home.

Grrr... time is almost out again and I dont want to loose another entry. Peace and joy from the DR.

Update for January 3rd and 4th

Oh my goodness! So very much happens everyday that writing for two days seems overwhelming. Julie and I have been to the medical clinic twice. We spend the mornings there and then work with the kids after lunch. The clinic is an a clinic that works with patients who have HIV and AIDS. We sat in on a consultation today and the poor woman was just a mess. She appeared at first fine, Dominicans take a great deal of pride in their appearance. We then found out that she had cyrosis (I am sure that is incorrectly spelled), Hep. C. and HIV. She cannot be given all the medicine she needs to relieve the pain, because her liver cannot handle it. She was an alcoholic, apparently is now sober. We learned there are about 2000 people with HIV in the DR. 92% of the adults with AIDS contract it through sexual relations. 17,000 childern approximately are born with HIV and only 150 of them are receiving good care. 150 are living with parents who have the disease. For such a small country these numbers are huge. We (Julie and I) are teaching one of the health center employees English- should be interesting.

The kids are great. Today we took them to the Malicon (boardwalk). It was the first time in a long time they could act like children in public. The tourist police harassed them, but could only say so much since they were with four gringas. The boys loved how safe they felt with us. I did worry about running into their bosses, fortunately we did not. Some of these boys are six or ten years old and living basically on their own (no family) and working. I have been coloring with them frequently. The task of properly holding a marker is difficult for some. They are quickly learning to let their imaginations run wild. Playing cards are a blessing for teaching math- I hope to bring back more this summer.

I worked on Suzanna´s school yesterday. Hopefully windows will be put in tomorrow- but who knows when you are on Dominican time.

I have had my hair in cornrows the past three days- super idea. China, the cook, has a cousin who has done it twice for me now. I currently I have beads in them. It is so much cooler and since I am working on day 3 with no shower, it keeps my hair neat.

I wish I had more time to write about the culture, but alas.

So long from the DR.

First Day

The first day has past and I am half way throught the second. No bug bites to complain about and just slightly tired. I wend about 40 hours with only two one hour naps. Last night a cold shower and bed never felt so good. The house is great and Puerto Plata is an interesting site. The mountains in the background are breath taking, but seem to be fake because at your feet there is trash. The beach is littered with trash. I don't mean a few cans, I mean dead dogs and every thing else.

The boys are so inspiring though. I spent time playing soccer with them yesterday and making up my own version of baseball. Today I work with a little boy named Louis. I would draw and he would copy my stick pictures. Then we moved on to letters. I have learned one of their card games and taught them War, tonight some of us might teach them Spoons. Some of the other group members read to them in Creole and taught them Spanish. The other half of the group worked on the school. There is more work to be done on the school than we originally thought.

Tomorrow I will spend half of the day at a medical clinic shadowing a doctor. I am excited and I am sure will be amazed at all I see.

I feel like I am learning a great deal about the culture and the needs. I am also learning the value of taking quiet time to spend with God. I think my heart and mind would be so overwhelmed if I hadn't. Time here at the internet cafe is about to run out, so long for now.